If you get the chance to visit Lisa and I here at the ‘Round Top Campground’ in Gettysburg be aware of the things that go bump in the night. No it is not the ghosts of the battlefield or little critters running around. It will be me cracking my melon on the stupid shelf that hangs over our headboard. Rest assured that sometime during the night, I will raise to reposition my position and “CRACK” – (usually followed by an extended moan and then an expletive, followed by “God who puts a shelf this close to the bed?” It is life in an RV.
But let me say that my noggin is bumpin on more than our bedroom shelf. On a recent return trip from DC I managed to drop my credit card outside my car door while trying to pay for parking – opened my car door – raised up and brained myself on my side mirror – then while still dizzy from that trauma – realized I had slammed my seat belt in the car door and could not get back in. The belt had somehow gotten so wedged into the door that it locked itself. Fortunately my nephew, Drew Cunningham, who was visiting for the week, managed to stop laughing long enough to push the door open so I could proceed in whatever direction I was going. In the meantime my credit card did not seem to work correctly and I had no indication that my card had been read and so I swiped it again and again and again. By now I was completely torqued off but finally looked up to see that the parking lot stop arm had raised and was waiting for me to get the heck out of there. I was afraid to look at my bank account to see how much that exit would end up costing. Drew summized the moment pretty well – “Steve, that was about two minutes worth of disaster”.
So if all that is not enough – today my cranium took another beating in our spacious three by three foot bathroom. I noticed a hose had come loose on the back of our toilet and tried to position myself to see how to reattach it without completely removing the toilet or knocking a hole in the side of our camper. I had to lay down on my back and inch my head between the side of the toilet and the wall and at the same time begin crawling my legs up the sides to allow my wide body to get into this skinny space. As I was attempting to turn my head toward the loose hose, I realized I had forced my skull into a space my skull had no business going and it wanted out of there – unfortunately I could not oblige. My first thought was that my head was stuck in this bathroom and my only option would be to start yelling for help and live with the embarrassment later or wait until Lisa gets home. But wait – Lisa can’t get home because I have to pick her up from work since I have the car. Needless to say I managed to become unstuck and breathed a sigh of relief for my escape. Me and my big head are just not in sync lately.
So if you happen to be in Gettysburg and see someone that looks kind of like me but with all these bumps and bruises on head – that is probably not me. I’ll be the one that is wearing the bicycle helmet.